I Am A Giant Cow

That is why I will work my entire life to become thin again

I suck 11:54 AM

Ok, so I majorly suck. I was all set to do a two day fast, but when I got home from work yesterday, I had a major headache and I had more work to do, so I broke down, I had an apple, a big salad, with a lot of stuff in it and a tiny bit of popcorn. I'd say I had a total of 400 or 500 cals yesterday. Since I lost my motivation I'm not fasting today or tomorrow either. I've had an apple, and handful of trail mix and half a Larabar today and I'm planning on having another big salad when I get home. I'm feeling a lot of pressure about how and what to eat lately, both from other people and from myself, I think I'm just going to do what I need to do to get through the day and not binge for a while and see where that gets me.

I also noticed something this weekend while at home. It seems as though my sister is always "sick" when she comes home to visit. I used to have a suspicion that she was bulimic after I thought I heard her puke after meals on two separate occasions a few years ago. She lives far away so I can't really keep tabs on her. We have a lot of the same tendencies and she even struggled with her weight growing up more than I did, so it would make sense if she had something wrong in that department too. I just wish we could talk about it. I feel like if I bring it up she'll just deny it....the same way that I probably would. We're so close in every other way, but it would be so awesome if we could be in this together too.

She blames her 'sensetive stomach' and has everyone fooled....I know her secret though...all too well.


Rachel said...

400, 500 cals is still really good. I'm thinking about not fasting no more all week.. today has really been super hard- like really hard. So after I fast today, i'm not fasting tomorrow.. I probably won't be fasting any time soon lol.! don't get down on yourself... at least you didn't binge on pizza and crazy stuff. How old is your sister? that would be really cool if you guys could come together. I have a younger sister (17) but we are estranged.

Jena said...

Thanks for joining my girl blog :)
Nice to have new faces. I am looking through your blog and you sound exactly like me. I have just started a new blog basically along the same lines but I have to keep it private. If you want an invite, email me- scenario.matters@live.ca
Would be awesome:)

Jenna said...

Don't get too down on yourself-- you definitely didn't binge and you restricted very well!

And as for your sister, I think we ED girls have a 6th sense for sniffing out others who think/behave like us. I don't know, maybe it's just we pay attention more?

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