I Am A Giant Cow

That is why I will work my entire life to become thin again

I slipped up 12:25 PM

I binged and purged.
It was a muffin.
Stop bringing food in front of my face!!!!!!!

I could only bring myself to purge about half of it, I haven't purged in so long, it was hurting my chest....never really felt that before. I'm meeting my friends for drinks tonight, hopefully they won't want food, if they do I will try my best to resist and just tell them I already ate....they probably won't believe me....

I feel soooo fat and disgusting. I'm a disgrace.
sometimes I just feel like screaming.................instead i scream in silence


Rachel said...

aww i'm so sorry. When I purged a few days ago it was so utterly painful- I haven't purged in sooo long before that. I use to be able to purge without it hurting at all. I understand your pain hunny, i'm so sorry.

Tulip said...

=( sorry to hear about the b/p, I hate it, makes me feel dirty almost? And erratic.

WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH FOOD????? <<< because your restricting, I've read alot into this as soon as you go into a sort of starvation mode your body makes you think of food as a sort of fail safe to get you to eat so it doesn't starve. Curse our starving minds!

R Harlow B said...

I feel your pain. Working in an office (they are usually filled with 'treats') is a crazy test of strength.

I feel your pain.

i am obsessed with food also, even though I'm not restricting.
i think it just comes from having an eating disordered mind... the obsession will never just disappear.

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