I Am A Giant Cow

That is why I will work my entire life to become thin again

Back on Planet Earth 11:00 AM

Does anyone else feel like they are having an out of body experience when they are binging? These past few weeks have been going pretty well, eating a pretty steady amount of food - all good for me with only a few slip ups. Today was a different story. This weekend I let myself slip a few times, eating a piece of bread here, a couple of chips and guac there, but nothing drastic. Today, I had half a bagel and cream cheese - two mini cupcakes, and orange, and a couple of cough drops. Thank you so much Lulu for your comment, you knocked some sense into me and let me know that all is not lost. For a moment there I felt like I was not myself, like I had forgotten how to "just say no". I'd say I'm a little over 500 cals so far today, and I just cancelled dinner with my boyfriend for tonight, so I'll be fine. I know I'll be hungry when I get home, so I'll have a salad and maybe some berries. I can still have an okay day. Sometimes I just get into that mindset where I think I've ruined it all so I might as well really crash and burn...don't know why. Now I can look back and say...hey, at least you didn't eat more cupcakes, or take it further and get a happy meal from McDonald's or something - that shit stops now. I can't afford any more slip ups.

Does anyone punish themselves for binging? I'm all for rewarding myself for doing well, but maybe I'll implement something for going over cals or gaining. Nothing bad, maybe that I just have to avoid checking perez (i'm addicted) for a day or something. Or like putting money in a swear jar, only a binge jar, then I have to give the money away or something....hmmmm...

3 comments:

Lulu said...

the binge jar = GENIUS.

I'm glad my comment helped, I know the binge monster only too well!

R Harlow B said...

yeah i'm an all or nothing binger too. if i slip up i say why i might as well have X, Y, Z, cuz i already ruined things. good job on stopping yourself.

my punishment is usually more exercise than usual...

Tree said...

i posted a blog about binging and outer body experience the other day...it does feel like you aren't "there" and just eating like crazy until you wake up and realize (after the fact) of what you did. Tommorrows a new day - you'll get back on track :)

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