tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83657809652611190562024-03-05T16:30:27.574-08:00I Am A Giant CowThat is why I will work my entire life to become thin againNatashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-83666109670926212782009-06-18T05:46:00.001-07:002009-06-18T05:55:18.988-07:00I'm sickWhile that title could mean so many things....in this particular case it means that I have a cold or something crappy and have been eating like MAD. My boyfriend is on this 'taking care of me' trip so he's all concerned that if I don't eat enough I will be sick forever. So he took me out for breakfast yesterday.....and I ate a whole heaping two blueberry pancakes.....yes....PANCAKES. Those were probably my total calorie balance for the day (if I were eating like a normal person)...but I didn't stop there....for dinner he made chicken kabobs, which wasn't that bad, with veggies and chicken...but still....those pancakes were haunting me....all that butter and syrup. They were soooo goood though....and I'm sure they went straight to my disgusting puckered saggy thighs. I'm proud to say that I haven't purged in about 2 or 3 months. I'm going to keep at it and start working out. My boyfriend wants to join a new gym - and I asked him to be my personal trainer. The deal is, I pay for his membership for 3 months and he works me out 3-4 times a week. He was an athlete in college, so he knows what works, and he's pretty ripped. I'm so excited to get started.....if only I can get over this crappy cold!<br /><br />Sending thin thoughts out to you all!Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-8875717039929528392009-06-09T13:23:00.000-07:002009-06-09T13:34:48.536-07:00Love you too!Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and support - it means the world to me. I've been struggling with trying to let everything go and just be....no obsessions, no depression, just try to stop THINKING for once....as you can see....it is definitely not working....because I'm back here.<br /><br />I don't know what it is about me, it's like there's a part of me that wants to be unhappy. Every time I'm happy, I have to shut it off, get back control, and make my own life miserable.<br /><br />Like in high school, I was probably what most people considered a popular girl. I was a cheerleader, had cute boyfriends, etc., but on the inside, I was always unhappy. I went through a lot of depression in high school, but never let anyone in on my little secret. I would hide away in my room contemplating suicide while noone was any the wiser. I always thought that if people knew they would say "what do you have to be sad about?"<br /><br />I didn't let anyone in......still haven't.<br /><br />Isn't that weird how I would probably trust my life with several people, my family, boyfriend, but I would not, in a million years, trust them with my secrets....my shame. I trust you all, but only because it is anonymous....you guys don't know me in real life....but you know the most true things about me....the things I can't tell other people...they won't understand.<br /><br />Whooooo.....that felt good....thanks for listening.Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-58092907089049595952009-06-08T08:39:00.000-07:002009-06-08T08:57:42.102-07:00Do you still love me?So.<br /><br />I know I have been gone for so long, this whole world-inside-a-world has probably changed.<br /><br />I have been away trying to lead a normal healthy life.....<br /><br />that's bullshit. I've been trying to act like I'm leading a normal life.<br /><br />I have maintained my weight right around 123. I need to lose, so I'm back.<br /><br />I've been eating like shit lately, so I desperately need to get that accountability back.<br /><br />So far today: 1/2 clif bar - ugh, so many calories - 175<br /><br />Here's the low-down. I moved in with my boyfriend. We have been on cloud nine, deciding where everything goes, having sex, hanging up pictures of us together, having sex, buying new furniture, having sex....you get the idea.<br /><br />I have been so wrapped up in our little world together that I have been nothing but agreeable. If he wants to order pizza, I'll eat it and like it. You know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. I don't feel bad about it. I ate like shit, and I did it to keep the moment. I didn't want to taint this little love bubble we've been in with my ocd calorie counting, analyzing, SHIT. And you know what.....<br /><br />IT FELT GOOD.<br /><br />For the first time in a long time, I've been so incredibly happy. I'm so thankful that I haven't gained any weight....but now reality is setting in...and I'm realizing that I'm still not happy with the body I have....the honeymoon stage is slowing.<br /><br />So, I hope you all won't be too angry with me for just up and leaving you all, but I had to do it......for my sanity. I also hope you will help me get back on track.<br /><br />Thanks for listening....much love.<br /><br />BTW - Tulip - if you read this, I can't get into your blog anymore :(Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-53727770530577764772009-04-22T12:42:00.000-07:002009-04-22T12:59:29.200-07:00Trying to stay positive...I went a little overboard on yesterday's cals - about 1000, but it is not a tragedy. Today I've had 1/2 a cantaloupe and I plan to have some popcorn, then a decent meal at home. I worked out for 1.5 hours this morning and I am feeling pretty good. Got some new clothes today....the scale is not exactly where I want it to be - around 122, but I'm ok with it. As long as I don't freak out I will continue on this way - never exceeding 1000 calories and working out regularly and I will see the weight drop...slowly but surely. I just want to be 110 for the summer so I can be totally confident in a bikini, but if I don't get there, that's ok, at least I'm not 145 in a bikini! I'm making it a rule to not be so hard on myself, cause when I am, I binge and purge....I will have no more of that...I am beautiful...I am woman...hear me roar...etc. etc. etc.<br /><br />Here's some bikini thinspo...<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSdIzNBrn465J5FeCCVjgektR3hKn27aoqB7g-k70kbN48QrJ8579x90BazqK2kCzcuyjgyK5-_lJElFo1qF8gKdgDNrM_KF_r_uqvESqw0GEU0EQ0BA8Uoe_cYRWqRxil78UA5492qsBk/s1600-h/09_brooklyn-decker_05.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327607533820075122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSdIzNBrn465J5FeCCVjgektR3hKn27aoqB7g-k70kbN48QrJ8579x90BazqK2kCzcuyjgyK5-_lJElFo1qF8gKdgDNrM_KF_r_uqvESqw0GEU0EQ0BA8Uoe_cYRWqRxil78UA5492qsBk/s320/09_brooklyn-decker_05.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguoANuIPZeB0qEMVkAI4Es_AfdxkLtk-2bAwBAAV7WzHjP3kufRPGh_jxBSFZ3WiAAsaQeKiOlry60JYh7i3vxJbOxzTU9cugWTQSdC-NbgBS5AXKpfY83OmM6Bp995bQmabXmyoW8RmVa/s1600-h/09_jessica-hart_03.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327607530149473842" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguoANuIPZeB0qEMVkAI4Es_AfdxkLtk-2bAwBAAV7WzHjP3kufRPGh_jxBSFZ3WiAAsaQeKiOlry60JYh7i3vxJbOxzTU9cugWTQSdC-NbgBS5AXKpfY83OmM6Bp995bQmabXmyoW8RmVa/s320/09_jessica-hart_03.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327607531861905378" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUU3WQrdnMr3Lnx_9JGKo_5U7yl-KrDFzGFyGSKHfxIf2ANLNOQT9-H2896WF7nszbu4boq4YcQdWM_ZdUwr-VnKlb2jW3iI4WIOADkNKI3ecb9qYZa2BD3ZkmCKcjP-zZOD0SRgeklZX-/s320/09_tori-praver_06.jpg" border="0" /> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtJnMzBXEV7k3ht3rD_1u9JxE82leZqjLmI3KcXuQ8npkV0Oz_oh5mvphHReWKb9qE8tX_13XR7MBB9jix6dVEXu8IUsZPl6Ygqq_NeSEtElXND8dwOKyP0pmHm_yDSiH6P8YryG6ibo1W/s1600-h/07_mmiller_11.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327607527962421074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 235px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtJnMzBXEV7k3ht3rD_1u9JxE82leZqjLmI3KcXuQ8npkV0Oz_oh5mvphHReWKb9qE8tX_13XR7MBB9jix6dVEXu8IUsZPl6Ygqq_NeSEtElXND8dwOKyP0pmHm_yDSiH6P8YryG6ibo1W/s320/07_mmiller_11.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBSCE_rn9H6-4b2SsUzQi1CMEV30ZwTGRXe0dhzkrHbc4oBIGJlLXEh16QPozosxulN2vacz6YZ-2MEaV-L7qQuPp4rmdYj27xYzP4RWZmb21XODspMfOMZAvZuEETPn0J_EP2FvFP8NLe/s1600-h/07_roliveira_05.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327607523990203186" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 235px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBSCE_rn9H6-4b2SsUzQi1CMEV30ZwTGRXe0dhzkrHbc4oBIGJlLXEh16QPozosxulN2vacz6YZ-2MEaV-L7qQuPp4rmdYj27xYzP4RWZmb21XODspMfOMZAvZuEETPn0J_EP2FvFP8NLe/s320/07_roliveira_05.jpg" border="0" /></a></div></div></div></div>Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-84606059546119593532009-04-21T10:34:00.000-07:002009-04-21T10:47:00.633-07:00Back on TrackOk, so I'm making myself post at least once a day from now on...I need to get myself back on track and I feel like crap posting when I'm doing not-so-well. Yesterday was a not-so-well day. I think I was up to about 1500 calories...the most I've had in a long long while. I had ice cream, a muffin...all kinds of crap....and did not purge any of it up. Oh well....at least I worked out... :)<br /><br />So today's consumption, 1/2 a cantaloupe and a handful of mixed nuts so far, planning on having a bit of hummus with a crispbread and a hearty dinner of salmon a small sweet potato and some edamame. All for a total of around 600 cals...I did not work out because I'm super sore from yesterday, so I'll work out extra hard tomorrow.<br /><br />I find that if I restrict too much all I think about is food and end up binging..so I'm putting myself back on the plan that works....500-800 cals a day and working out most days. I'm going to go grocery shopping this weekend to stock up on some yummies...I have some new ideas...<br /><br />Oh crap, I just realized I told my boyfriend that I would eat with him tonight...damn. Might have to shelf my dinner plans for tomorrow....ugh. I dread to think of what it will be like when we live together...he's gonna have to get used to my eating habits real quick. <br /><br /><em>"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."</em><br />-Mother TeresaNatashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-82592497116807990782009-04-17T12:25:00.000-07:002009-04-17T12:33:12.552-07:00I slipped up<div><div>I binged and purged. </div><div>It was a muffin. </div><div>DUMB OFFICE FATTIES.</div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325744791366990674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 239px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic8ckpQUS8BNb9Tv13Ukk_WiY59Wa90uksBwqXxfK7T4QNwmk1gN-HDmF-tUyCc3PgrCX91a5rxP65Vecug95W_PTALawhphmKqlGfvPZToqEx0yzoWainJmjPXPyumeOFxfq3jmiDuERg/s320/76.jpg" border="0" /> <div>Stop bringing food in front of my face!!!!!!!</div><div></div><br /><div>I could only bring myself to purge about half of it, I haven't purged in so long, it was hurting my chest....never really felt that before. I'm meeting my friends for drinks tonight, hopefully they won't want food, if they do I will try my best to resist and just tell them I already ate....they probably won't believe me....</div><div></div><br /><div>I feel soooo fat and disgusting. I'm a disgrace. </div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325744790882862642" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 239px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSu6t57pi3TOAy4VRE1XmlCBNoh-NTiV0d24iUswY1LzIsEqm9V5XAUeV-dgd36oqcOyBkIwwKQWZyRN49NTGMb3Yc17NyyF91vETLIC8fDZM6Xbauku1S_4dxar7isP17ykI_vKzwJY7g/s320/75.jpg" border="0" /> <div>WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH FOOD?????</div><div> </div><div>sometimes I just feel like screaming.................instead i scream in silence</div></div>Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-62051388646848864092009-04-17T08:14:00.000-07:002009-04-17T09:21:45.223-07:00Why I want this....inspired by <a href="http://proanaquest.blogspot.com/">Kat</a><br /><br />1. I want to wear shorts. I have not put on a pair of shorts (aside from around the house) in probably about 10 years. I'm just not one of those people who will wear shorts unless my legs are FRAIL...which they haven't been for some time now...<br />2. I want to be able to show my stomach (ever so slightly) with a shorter shirt and not worry about a muffin top.<br />3. I want to not only fit into a size 0...I want to swim in it!<br />4. I want to run around in a bikini on the beach<br />5. I want my boyfriend to pick me up and carry me around with ease<br />6. I want people to tell me I'm skinny and call me the skinny one when I'm not around<br />7. When I get married (not for a while...yikes) I want to wear a form fitting slinky dress, you can only do that if you are literally skin and bones....form fitting white dress? A fatty's nightmare...<br />8. When I get pregnant (not for a while..double yikes) I want to be so thin with just a bump belly<br />9. I want my skin to be so taught, don't want anything to ever sag...<br />10. I want to be a milf someday....you don't see any fat milfs...<br />11. I want to have a sordid affair with a European...wouldn't have the confidence if I was fat.<br />12. I want to have sex in the daylight and not worry about my cellulite or a little roll here or there<br />13. I want to have bruises on my hipbones (when i was skinny I always got bruises there for some reason)<br />14. I want to walk around my house naked with my boyfriend there and not worry about what jiggles<br />15. Most of all, I want to be envied by everyone who sees me.<br /><br />Why do you want it?Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-37786545410717197452009-04-16T08:51:00.001-07:002009-04-16T09:30:28.111-07:00Red Bull FeelingI feel energized and ready to get back on track.<br /><br />Sidebar - anyone remember that scene in Knocked Up where her sister comes into her room in the morning and is all energized and she asks how many red bulls she had? she's like "I've had about three redbulls in the last fifteen minutes" or something like that....I feel like that :)<br /><br />I'm feeling very skinny today because I put on my size 4 work pants and they were all saggy so I put on the new size 2's and they fit like a glove - I even had to poke a new hole in my belt because it was too big. Very exciting news. Even though the scale says the same thing (123.6) I'm feeling slimmer than usual. I'm giving myself the freedom to eat semi-normally on Friday because I'm going out with friends, so I'll be restricting a bit today to get ready for it - only a banana and a salad for me today. Hopefully I can be alone on Saturday and Sunday and do a bit of a system flush to get ready for next week. (I use epsom salts) I follow the directions <a href="http://www.cleansingorsurgery.com/saltwaterflush.htm">on this site</a> - totally cleans you out! Next week I plan to work out for an hour everyday and eat about 500 calories....that's usually the minimum I need if I want to get anything out of my workouts, anything less and I just don't have the energy. Here's some Marisa Miller thinspo...her stomach is AMAZING!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaRQ1Kyl4ahyJaY_pW9Na3gVudcY7PG6r_BDlALfPlk3u7MME8-6QtPNaOwNi8fFf1IQhreJoO8Z0KUEku7tYK_RyGGReqJHBx7RWHUO5ES_SL8giW19Vni2bMMKB_JYJ1VJdiFsg5_Xah/s1600-h/marisa_miller5.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325327173275891474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 212px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaRQ1Kyl4ahyJaY_pW9Na3gVudcY7PG6r_BDlALfPlk3u7MME8-6QtPNaOwNi8fFf1IQhreJoO8Z0KUEku7tYK_RyGGReqJHBx7RWHUO5ES_SL8giW19Vni2bMMKB_JYJ1VJdiFsg5_Xah/s320/marisa_miller5.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS2AnSJgQqjTfekNOPl9YZMfEhXDXAMD1lHvZwewMWMe8ikmP5e6JNCV3eGnVBozk7xf3baU_6zdMYCmi63pP71_KnFhlEPId6QaOPB0y4cR0t3mRlhGNOVp4HSPo1Bi3xNU47BhxEcWAY/s1600-h/07_mmiller_07.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325327168302693794" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 235px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS2AnSJgQqjTfekNOPl9YZMfEhXDXAMD1lHvZwewMWMe8ikmP5e6JNCV3eGnVBozk7xf3baU_6zdMYCmi63pP71_KnFhlEPId6QaOPB0y4cR0t3mRlhGNOVp4HSPo1Bi3xNU47BhxEcWAY/s320/07_mmiller_07.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a_S14hNWWdWJnA6i6iF51XYrIlI3CgDmI_KAisBKs4dmL2CVf4N_UOGLXUWJsqTJFARLaL5YGzM7KmqAiGwzFf8RCJ4VZWm16_Wf-Bqc-X0kRhSySDdE62ttILfzHEX3cpe51QALhJ5U/s1600-h/07_mmiller_28.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325327169155434770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 235px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a_S14hNWWdWJnA6i6iF51XYrIlI3CgDmI_KAisBKs4dmL2CVf4N_UOGLXUWJsqTJFARLaL5YGzM7KmqAiGwzFf8RCJ4VZWm16_Wf-Bqc-X0kRhSySDdE62ttILfzHEX3cpe51QALhJ5U/s320/07_mmiller_28.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzLlFyosiELN2_gz44zpPGkAZoe_RmWW44tuupEMFVeNatyzxnqEpC5N3OmWxtLnf1V5FY9NYGqDxApCDOCL6qpl7hPpCGZ-jn1RCjhfHrkbObieZuvjR8jmEkbn6iO9s68VZuNW85Jzi/s1600-h/07_mmiller_15.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325327167233571842" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 235px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzLlFyosiELN2_gz44zpPGkAZoe_RmWW44tuupEMFVeNatyzxnqEpC5N3OmWxtLnf1V5FY9NYGqDxApCDOCL6qpl7hPpCGZ-jn1RCjhfHrkbObieZuvjR8jmEkbn6iO9s68VZuNW85Jzi/s320/07_mmiller_15.jpg" border="0" /></a></div></div></div>Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-10257589565989093322009-04-14T11:54:00.000-07:002009-04-14T12:12:16.545-07:00I suckOk, so I majorly suck. I was all set to do a two day fast, but when I got home from work yesterday, I had a major headache and I had more work to do, so I broke down, I had an apple, a big salad, with a lot of stuff in it and a tiny bit of popcorn. I'd say I had a total of 400 or 500 cals yesterday. Since I lost my motivation I'm not fasting today or tomorrow either. I've had an apple, and handful of trail mix and half a Larabar today and I'm planning on having another big salad when I get home. I'm feeling a lot of pressure about how and what to eat lately, both from other people and from myself, I think I'm just going to do what I need to do to get through the day and not binge for a while and see where that gets me.<br /><br />I also noticed something this weekend while at home. It seems as though my sister is always "sick" when she comes home to visit. I used to have a suspicion that she was bulimic after I thought I heard her puke after meals on two separate occasions a few years ago. She lives far away so I can't really keep tabs on her. We have a lot of the same tendencies and she even struggled with her weight growing up more than I did, so it would make sense if she had something wrong in that department too. I just wish we could talk about it. I feel like if I bring it up she'll just deny it....the same way that I probably would. We're so close in every other way, but it would be so awesome if we could be in this together too.<br /><br />She blames her 'sensetive stomach' and has everyone fooled....I know her secret though...all too well.Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-3268702036374991562009-04-13T06:21:00.000-07:002009-04-13T06:33:54.360-07:00FAST as you can...Oh man did I have a long weekend, sorry for no updates, it is hard to get some alone time around the family. Ok, so as for fasting, I know <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16392636576594552563" rel="nofollow">Jenna</a> said that she's already fasting, so I would love to join you. I know <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/02776457730215361943" rel="nofollow">hey.hana</a> said she would like to start on Sunday, but I had to have Easter dinner with my family so that was out of the question. So if you guys want to keep your fast going with me that would be great - I'm going to fast today and tomorrow - my sis is coming back up to visit me on Wednesday so I'll have to eat, I'm sure. So, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/02368131606501125827" rel="nofollow">Rachel</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/06744501244754671261" rel="nofollow">Tulip</a>, are you up for joining <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16392636576594552563" rel="nofollow">Jenna</a> and <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/02776457730215361943" rel="nofollow">hey.hana</a>?<br /><br />I know I gained a shitload of weight this weekend so I really need some sort of 'cleansing'. I wish I could take a laxative to wash everything out of my system before our fast but I have to work a real job, so I can't be in the bathroom all day :) I know, TMI. <br /><br />I hope you all had a wonderful weekend - sometimes it is ok to forget about stupid calories and just have fun for once....knowing you'll get back on track.....<br /><br /><br /><em>“When sadness comes, just sit by the side and look at it and say, “I am the watcher, I am not sadness,” and see the difference. Immediately you have cut the very root of sadness. It is no more nourished. It will die of starvation. We feed these emotions by being identified with them.”<br />-Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh quotes</em>Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-69905128608384055682009-04-10T10:16:00.000-07:002009-04-10T10:21:13.686-07:00Fast next week? Any takers?So I know I'm going to have a food heavy weekend with the family, so I'm definitely going to have to fast next week - anyone want to fast with me? I'm thinking either two or three days...I need to shed some pounds....Summer is just around the corner!!<br /><br />Also does anyone have any good tips on how to break a fast?<br /><br />Who's coming with me?!?Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-50653865905550955702009-04-10T06:30:00.000-07:002009-04-10T06:42:24.233-07:00I can't believe I'm fasting!So, I tried fasting once about a year ago and almost fainted but that was when I was eating semi-normally. This time around is totally different. It is like I weened myself off food. So the day before yesterday I fasted all day - but then had to go to the boyfriend's house for dinner, had a little bread and cheese and sweet potato and we had fish also, but I didn't like it, so I'd say I had maybe 3 or 400 cals that day. Then yesterday I fasted all day...nothing but water and half a bottle of kombucha. The best part is - I was able to function all day! See, I live in the city so I have to walk to the bus, walk to the train, walk up stairs to the train, walk to work after I get off the train...then repeat it all on the way home...you get the picture, have to be somewhat active. During work, I just basically sit on my ass all day, so that's not a big deal. So I'm proud to say that I have not eaten a morsel in 42 hours...I'm not sure how long I will take it today, I'm going out tonight so I don't want to get plastered from one drink. I'm planning on having an apple sometime today and then probably eat something for dinner, not sure what yet.<br /><br />I felt so horribly guilty after the day I binged, I ate cupcakes!! cupcakes!! So, this is my punishment, so the scale is down to 120.4 but I know most of that will just come back when I start *eating* again, but I'm hoping it doesn't. I have to go to my parent's house this weekend, so I know I'll be eating a ton. I haven't seen some of my family in a while so they're all going to be talking about how skinny I am and watching my every step with food making sure I don't have a problem. Ugh. Plus, there will be tons of candy around, I'll just have to make sure to seem totally normal about food...which is hard. <br /><br />I should just wear baggy clothes to deceive them, but I want them to see how much weight I have lost...is that weird?Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-27731793373641679322009-04-07T18:01:00.000-07:002009-04-07T18:14:27.970-07:00I'll do better tomorrowBinged again when I got home tonight, I'm not even going to count my calories (yeah right) but I think it is around 1500 for the day. SICK. I'm fasting during the day tomorrow, I'm only allowing myself to have a Kombucha, and I'm going to work out for two hours - before work and on my lunch hour. I'm having dinner with the bf tomorrow night but thankfully we're just having fish and asparagus, then I'll fast the next day too. It has been probably 3 months since I've had this much to eat in a day and I'm really disgusted with myself.<br /><br />I really need to figure out why I binged today - I am sick and I had some Nyquil last night, this morning I was still a little loopy, so I think that influenced me to eat that stupid first cupcake, then it was all downhill from there. I can proudly say I didn't purge, although I really really really wanted to. All I can hope is that this will somehow trick my metabolism so all won't be lost. I'm sorry for all of the random blogs today, but I was trying to talk myself through it hoping that if I started writing stuff down that I would stop the vicious cycle...no such luck. I think I just need someone to insult me when I'm like that - someone to just say - "what the hell are you doing fatass" If I get cravings to binge again, please anyone just call me a fatass like I am.Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-9276122532862202842009-04-07T11:00:00.000-07:002009-04-07T11:12:02.868-07:00Back on Planet EarthDoes anyone else feel like they are having an out of body experience when they are binging? These past few weeks have been going pretty well, eating a pretty steady amount of food - all good for me with only a few slip ups. Today was a different story. This weekend I let myself slip a few times, eating a piece of bread here, a couple of chips and guac there, but nothing drastic. Today, I had half a bagel and cream cheese - two mini cupcakes, and orange, and a couple of cough drops. Thank you so much <a href="http://ginandtrouble.blogspot.com/">Lulu</a> for your comment, you knocked some sense into me and let me know that all is not lost. For a moment there I felt like I was not myself, like I had forgotten how to "just say no". I'd say I'm a little over 500 cals so far today, and I just cancelled dinner with my boyfriend for tonight, so I'll be fine. I know I'll be hungry when I get home, so I'll have a salad and maybe some berries. I can still have an okay day. Sometimes I just get into that mindset where I think I've ruined it all so I might as well really crash and burn...don't know why. Now I can look back and say...hey, at least you didn't eat more cupcakes, or take it further and get a happy meal from McDonald's or something - that shit stops now. I can't afford any more slip ups. <br /><br />Does anyone punish themselves for binging? I'm all for rewarding myself for doing well, but maybe I'll implement something for going over cals or gaining. Nothing bad, maybe that I just have to avoid checking perez (i'm addicted) for a day or something. Or like putting money in a swear jar, only a binge jar, then I have to give the money away or something....hmmmm...Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-19398697338239589862009-04-07T08:31:00.001-07:002009-04-07T08:37:12.974-07:00I bingedWell, it wasn't a full out binge...I had half a bagel and cream cheese and a mini cupcake...thinking about having another cupcake. ugh. It is taking all I have not to go to the bathroom and purge it all up right now. I just want it out of me. I feel so gross, it is just sitting in my stomach making me fatter, no nutritional value whatsoever...why do I do this?<br /><br />So I've had about 450 cals so far today and it is only 10:30am. I'm screwed.Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-2156982916327933222009-04-07T06:45:00.000-07:002009-04-07T06:49:22.827-07:00Stupid Office FattiesUgh, there are bagels and cupcakes and m&m's in the kitchen right now....I swear I was sooo close to picking up half a bagel and cream cheese...I still might. I want to binge it all so bad - do you know how long it has been since I've had a cupcake? I'm sick and need something more than the stupid veggies that I brought for lunch today. Ugh...why can't they just bring in fruit or something! Why must they tempt like this - I'm so weak I'm afraid I'll give in! I'm counting to 100 and drinking water....I might need help to get through this one...<br /><br />I know I shouldn't eat it, I know I'll feel like shit after I do, but why do I still want to eat it...eat it ALL?Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-64593814678193091822009-04-03T12:31:00.000-07:002009-04-03T12:33:17.880-07:00I need help!What's the healthiest thing on this <a href="http://www.angelinaristorante.com/dinnermenu/">menu</a>?<br /><br />Obviously the salads, but any entrees or anything? I doubt he'll let me get away with just a salad...Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-56572841438795295152009-04-03T06:28:00.000-07:002009-04-03T06:47:04.429-07:00123.4 - Ever So Slowly InchingSo I was 123.4 this morning so I think I'm still inching down...so slowly though. I feel like the slower I lose the longer I will be able to keep it off though, so that's a good thing. Consumption for yesterday:<br /><br />Small Mango:100<br />Veggies and Fage 0%:50<br />Mini Homemade Pizzas (ww pita pocket cut in half to make two crusts with tomato sauce, garlic, tomatoes, basil, eggplant, squash, and a little mozzarella): 200<br />Kiwi:50<br /><br />Total: 400<br /><br />Yesterday was a good day, I've been overeating lately cause I'm on my period, but I'm hoping it is going away soon so I can get back on track. I haven't seen my boyfriend all week so we planned a date night tonight which involves going out to eat. We're going to this really nice place we've only been to once and I LOVED it. I think last time we went there I had fish, so hopefully they have a healthy fish option for me tonight, if not then I'll just go for a salad. He might be upset that I'm not taking advantage of a good meal, but it'll be cheaper for him, so hopefully he won't complain too much.<br /><br />The weekend always scares me because I feel like I have no structure, but this weekend will be good, I have a craft fair (I make kids stuffed animals) to work on Saturday all day so I'll probably just bring and apple and I won't be able to leave to eat so that'll be awesome.<br /><br />Please let me have the willpower to eat something healthy tonight!! Only healthy fish or a salad!<br />Have a great weekend ladies! Here's some Black and White thinspo to keep you going...<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1vbkGTMCJWkzdJQmvHi6LE9vQZuCJ1XFTo-lEIuJD0WTNSN3OS4aNDGoa8LVt1lqx632rTTTmmEsEtJcf83z_L3R_ZnlYL1apIkL2_shlyylYHINshJvhx9rECZJXb_1G_ikFfdfdXhyphenhyphen/s1600-h/104.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320460930535761650" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 198px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1vbkGTMCJWkzdJQmvHi6LE9vQZuCJ1XFTo-lEIuJD0WTNSN3OS4aNDGoa8LVt1lqx632rTTTmmEsEtJcf83z_L3R_ZnlYL1apIkL2_shlyylYHINshJvhx9rECZJXb_1G_ikFfdfdXhyphenhyphen/s320/104.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT1k4uvzFMwf10aHvceUfEs9NId_kU60WUtz_do14b_x1-Ca0ahZDlm6hmopARAaZBCEDYIkDttu4oKC5OFgVcw3VnSxBeabAP0eEw0kMVpsRoQEO4c44jWxVvJkx6W1uKXgT2csZv9Fns/s1600-h/67.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320460928577309970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 232px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT1k4uvzFMwf10aHvceUfEs9NId_kU60WUtz_do14b_x1-Ca0ahZDlm6hmopARAaZBCEDYIkDttu4oKC5OFgVcw3VnSxBeabAP0eEw0kMVpsRoQEO4c44jWxVvJkx6W1uKXgT2csZv9Fns/s320/67.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsDPegssAuVRM9srYgl1AnzAha5MiS6_teiiHaRPsD7WfX-FUO7NqT49VanJAiYf9cbkKnekOlj1Qi20TPIB2wsCUQGeFrcPYr5aXKJfw6g6vUCmVAPjgP3mnRqBkNi5EO2lZTQKF1c_m/s1600-h/92.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320460923099820546" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 220px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsDPegssAuVRM9srYgl1AnzAha5MiS6_teiiHaRPsD7WfX-FUO7NqT49VanJAiYf9cbkKnekOlj1Qi20TPIB2wsCUQGeFrcPYr5aXKJfw6g6vUCmVAPjgP3mnRqBkNi5EO2lZTQKF1c_m/s320/92.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBg1z7NNoH14fIMRlxcTnMpmrWACNZx6wpNbRywUkmL5eih6p4eZWd3Ucmo536om1R2-QAFsjwiybuDxWdfo9TLfMgSc0nei6Hr_j1EZgK_EWF734u8ILiotFD3qjr2hu_u0Qksf2NluJN/s1600-h/91.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320460921849347586" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 154px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBg1z7NNoH14fIMRlxcTnMpmrWACNZx6wpNbRywUkmL5eih6p4eZWd3Ucmo536om1R2-QAFsjwiybuDxWdfo9TLfMgSc0nei6Hr_j1EZgK_EWF734u8ILiotFD3qjr2hu_u0Qksf2NluJN/s320/91.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZelepx9ct-LxjgY2zsNj4yRvbxIYngt7CcWvv82OC5h07voYqsTSWMqrgng95A8N36iOWAh07VL8vL9kNXuUM5sxX2uNjPltHjln2tFgi68Mq8zeYSSVQNmSijtbla66BPitmLlSzxiQ3/s1600-h/33.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320460916717827426" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 206px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZelepx9ct-LxjgY2zsNj4yRvbxIYngt7CcWvv82OC5h07voYqsTSWMqrgng95A8N36iOWAh07VL8vL9kNXuUM5sxX2uNjPltHjln2tFgi68Mq8zeYSSVQNmSijtbla66BPitmLlSzxiQ3/s320/33.jpg" border="0" /></a></div></div></div></div>Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-33946514662871294042009-04-02T09:59:00.000-07:002009-04-02T10:09:08.584-07:00How many calories is the right amount?Ok, so 380 cals yesterday, 790 the day before. I've only had a mango and a handful of mixed nuts today, trying for around 400 today. I've been trying to not measure cals throughout the day - just eating when I'm hungry and adding it up the next day, this is why my totals are so off lately. Has anyone ever tried 2-4-6-8? I've hit a plateau and I'm trying to figure out the best way to get past it. I'm steady around 124lbs. I've been working out and eating anywhere from 400-800 cals a day but everything stays the same. I'm not good at fasting, so I'm not sure what to do. I know I would have trouble with the 200cal days, but really want to do something to boost my metabolism.<br /><br />Did anyone see Oprah the other day? Dr. Oz was on talking about these people who restrict their calories. For men, it was like 1900 cals and for women it was 1600 cals - they talk about eating right, and restricting a bit to be healthier and live longer. I think that once I hit my ultimite goal weight I will do this - I doubt I'll be able to get up to 1600 cals a day, but I'll settle for 1000 or something to maintain. I say that now, but who knows how I'll feel once I hit a goal...no goal will ever be low enough probably. Anyway, I'm just looking forward to a longer, healthier, skinnier life.<br /><br />Hope you are all doing well!Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-41322058902918133332009-03-31T10:03:00.000-07:002009-03-31T10:30:38.244-07:00ThinspoNot much to say today - not feeling great - 800 cals yesterday...ugh. I feel fat just thinking about it. I've got to get back on track - so far today 70 cals and an hour workout - I need to keep it up all day, I'm back to like 124lbs....I was doing so well. I swear as soon as someone says I look skinny, that's like my excuse to binge or something - like, I'm skinny enough for someone to notice, so if I just do a mini binge it won't make a difference. Well, here's the proof, up another pound or so. I'll do better the rest of the week and this weekend. Here's some Emina Cunmulaj Thinspo - she's sooooo skinny!<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319405082343567010" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 182px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ox5KzRp1ZWtaUItSZfpWG1Ms5fxXHUjE8tyiQhnlm3Z2FZpUPn8M-9buczm8pWqNzSQP94vJQjQhuooV2fvSKq11C0gnEpin7QV05ppysfy_DstkxGn-HQFGYxSKg10tEfcDu2ZReWbH/s320/Emina+Cunmulaj.jpg" border="0" /> <div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319405077760900834" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgozQXn0ixBlsJBC7gvFhy-6F2dgTPKvTa8SNE51M5CdIWJCJkfZhozyy0qGBGZlFvL2Ks1ogbqmB1Plgd4Uhc_OYkShE8Z6vj5xWnlug7k63fVZ68FStIIT_WxR6jA4rhRi_IkDxte6tBG/s320/450px-Emina_Cunmulaj1.jpg" border="0" /> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_PB7tqAF0apsb6je9_wbQfGsfcqyoIS6O8GyQR6Ot1kWvxBtBqzzK2PNSXT4r1vxduiG-rrBUbtCLCNd3yeicUyhDMfOd0Okhv9imhMOq-j2kgK5KjN4cgOb1GLzztVNK8Y9uOVjbars/s1600-h/425.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319404939177608610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 192px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_PB7tqAF0apsb6je9_wbQfGsfcqyoIS6O8GyQR6Ot1kWvxBtBqzzK2PNSXT4r1vxduiG-rrBUbtCLCNd3yeicUyhDMfOd0Okhv9imhMOq-j2kgK5KjN4cgOb1GLzztVNK8Y9uOVjbars/s320/425.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwf7ieCs-1upQbDtshDqy_JDq8MynjBy-zkrF23RSEv_UkLyzQ2YeIOFM9fR9Nzmmttyuc74zvpD-Cq6L-Ji1fh2hF5c3lPaFBx05_6A4fGjcSRZNTjfeszIe0_yqJTzyRas3y8x7iafwJ/s1600-h/421.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319404938244459954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 198px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwf7ieCs-1upQbDtshDqy_JDq8MynjBy-zkrF23RSEv_UkLyzQ2YeIOFM9fR9Nzmmttyuc74zvpD-Cq6L-Ji1fh2hF5c3lPaFBx05_6A4fGjcSRZNTjfeszIe0_yqJTzyRas3y8x7iafwJ/s320/421.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiadrpDgwsK3y4RyWLveYUFU2K-T7RsGBqaAlBgRli6R1_sXjlH6l6hZIH6C__96klqZwbWkSAyJKQublOf34nLfzTwtpUnUWNiH77D2bENza9uw5R3c5ob5UEtCJfiQqx6tAT6onA6PsMX/s1600-h/418.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319404939609313954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 177px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiadrpDgwsK3y4RyWLveYUFU2K-T7RsGBqaAlBgRli6R1_sXjlH6l6hZIH6C__96klqZwbWkSAyJKQublOf34nLfzTwtpUnUWNiH77D2bENza9uw5R3c5ob5UEtCJfiQqx6tAT6onA6PsMX/s320/418.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieO5U4ytI7HEUfcEYMsT_jxTMEKxvdgIJIrIZ5gRUznKJASI_mvP1cC1iIV6S7R14lbuUulhk1n2GV8DdOPDIyAeAkvqV7k9yx8dMhs5VJhT6s2F945w42aINDRyyERh-k3JdeWnPv8VDa/s1600-h/413.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319404932579367218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 210px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieO5U4ytI7HEUfcEYMsT_jxTMEKxvdgIJIrIZ5gRUznKJASI_mvP1cC1iIV6S7R14lbuUulhk1n2GV8DdOPDIyAeAkvqV7k9yx8dMhs5VJhT6s2F945w42aINDRyyERh-k3JdeWnPv8VDa/s320/413.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO9qm5bbnL62Sf1A0DDd2f05PIGRp8eLdMVPvcYlUnDiZ9Wc_2CqPhUWC6YC92kMBmfGtLBrbLBegbw7XLSfjACAYf0DTCBar5B2eOBmNo5ufjhaSn5BECGnyD-0aS4ZjEsS9apCgGXtHn/s1600-h/403.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319404932336735730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 190px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO9qm5bbnL62Sf1A0DDd2f05PIGRp8eLdMVPvcYlUnDiZ9Wc_2CqPhUWC6YC92kMBmfGtLBrbLBegbw7XLSfjACAYf0DTCBar5B2eOBmNo5ufjhaSn5BECGnyD-0aS4ZjEsS9apCgGXtHn/s320/403.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div></div></div></div></div></div>Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-27802344693639864772009-03-30T07:57:00.000-07:002009-03-30T08:02:51.324-07:00My Weekend<a name="_MailAutoSig">Hi ladies!</a> My weekend was so fun! Eating wise, not the best, but also not the worst. I had so much to drink though – but it was damn worth it. I’m putting Friday at 600, Saturday at 1350 (with all the drinks…yeesh) and Sunday at 700cals. I think I’ll have a tough time today as well – I’ve already had a pear and am still hungry – probably stretched my stomach out with all that alcohol! Anyway…my dress was a hit, and everyone at the party kept saying how skinny I looked and asking if I had lost weight, etc. It felt really good to hear that! On Sunday morning I weighed 121.4, but I know that was just because I was extremely dehydrated. This morning I weighed 123.6 that’s a bit more accurate. I’m hoping to have a good week – probably try to stay around 600 cals a day.<br /><br />Hope you all had wonderful weekends, and looking forward to a great week!Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-57913324349488963172009-03-27T06:41:00.001-07:002009-03-27T06:52:56.409-07:00Mini BingeSo yesterday I did so well all day, all I had was half a cantaloupe, then I get home and wanted to binge soo soo bad. I promised myself I would not purge anymore, so I decided to do a mini binge. I made guacamole with 1/2 an avocado and had that with chips - I was eating so fast I couldn't believe it. That always sucks - when you're so hungry you just shove it in and don't really have time to enjoy it. So I'm guessing it was about 4 or 500 cals with the chips and everything....good thing all I had was half a cantaloupe the rest of the day. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything after that, I felt like a disgusting cow. So I'm putting my total at 600 for yesterday, just wish I would have enjoyed it more! Anyway, today is going well so far, 124.6lbs, already worked out for an hour this morning and I'm going to eat only the other half of the cantaloupe and a salad for dinner...maybe I'll throw in the other half of that Larabar and a nectarine. Stupid me went way too overboard at Whole Foods and now I can't eat it all before it goes bad....what a waste of money. Gotta fit into that size ZERO dress tomorrow! Man, I'm gonna get drunk from one drink tomorrow....but hopefully I'll look damn good! Maybe I'll post some pics of me in my dress! Best of luck to you all on the weekend! (that's always the toughest time for me to stick to a plan) I'm sure all of you lovelies will do much better than me!Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-53099294841645893092009-03-26T06:09:00.001-07:002009-03-26T06:43:56.311-07:00Quick TipAs all of us should, I take vitamins every day. My roommate is a nurse and she knows a heck of a lot more about the human body than I do. One tip she gave me is that if you take vitamins on an empty stomach, a majority of the nutrients in the vitamin will not be absorbed, you will just pee it out. I always thought they told you to eat something with them so your stomach wouldn’t get upset. So ladies, make sure to have a little something with your multivitamin!<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317483037133796514" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 178px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 250px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinBI5PAMKnunetrvovGo8UoUKopRhAxakGJYxwUpqonbwMuFZ2GUJj_hdtEoEPX4FIj-0CsVv7wO5RfzBnY1k22a1s_M3UCFrRGo_1mhKj2uEv-sjmEJFKyVGi5AfKRG3kevYU7BTnSzPK/s320/vitamin.bmp" border="0" /><br />Consumption for yesterday was great (for me):<br /><br />Apple: 50<br />Adora (chocolate calcium supplement): 30<br /><br />1/2 Larabar: 100 (I got the cherry pie one - and it was sooo delish!)<br /><br />Stir Fry<br />1/2 Chicken breast: 100<br />veggies: 30<br />sauce: 40<br /><br />Total: 350<br /><br />Also - hopped on the scale this morning - 124.8 - keeps going down - YAY!<br /><br />Here's hoping everyone has a super skinny day!Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-14802082797949442172009-03-25T07:02:00.000-07:002009-03-25T07:03:50.170-07:00Prove Them WrongSo, a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend was telling me how great I look and that I’m looking so skinny and that my working out and eating healthy is really working out. I think he has an idea that I’m not eating much, but I just keep telling him that I’m eating like a normal person. I pretty much am – I mean, I don’t really feel like even to maintain I could eat 2000 calories a day – that’s like insane. So anyway, I told him that I wanted to get back down to a size zero and he was like “Get back?” and I said that I used to be a zero and he said, “maybe in junior high”. Whhaaa? I was hurt…he was obviously trying to make a joke, and probably doesn’t realize how much that affected me. He has been so supportive of me and he’s such a great guy, always complimenting me and telling me how wonderful I am, so I didn’t really hold it against him. After he made the comment though it became my goal – become a size zero to prove him wrong.<br /><br />I have an engagement party to go to this weekend so I bought a new <a href="http://www.statecollegetux.com/product_info.php?cPath=91&products_id=478&osCsid=gc39mrqhvtgol0br7nub7h71l4">dress</a> yesterday, so cute! So, my boyfriend picked me up yesterday for our wine and cheese outing, and I showed him the dress – he definitely liked it (it is low cut and kinda backless). This is the good part, then, I asked him to look at the size….ZERO, thank you very much. I convinced myself that it was some sort of fluke, but shit, I’ll take a fluke zero any day. He didn’t get why I was making such a big deal about it, he didn’t remember that he made the comment, but was very proud of me. I was, of course, singing show tunes in my head!<br /><br />Wine and cheese thing wasn’t bad, they didn’t really give us much wine or cheese, so I’d say I had 150 cals of cheese, 150 cals of bread, and 200 cals of wine, and I only had 150 cals the rest of the day, so that puts my total yesterday at 650, not bad. I’m going to try for 400 cals today because I can’t work out.Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365780965261119056.post-74342674770751643172009-03-24T06:23:00.000-07:002009-03-24T06:46:26.200-07:00Feelin' Good From My Head to My Shoes!Good Morning Ladies! I'm finally down to 125.6lbs! That's still a little over 125, but hey it works for me! That's like my halfway point...not really, but in my head once I got to 125 I would be semi-happy. Consumption for yesterday was under my usual, so that's great!<br /><br />baby banana ~ 20 (didn't eat the whole thing)<br />veggies and fage 0% ~ 130 - not really sure if that's accurate, I have trouble calculating mixed veggies<br />salmon, broccolini, yam, evoo ~350<br /><br />Total: ~500<br /><br />Worked out for an hour - abs, tris, chest, and elliptical.<br />I also worked out this morning for 1.5 hours - legs, back and treadmill. Sometimes I love getting it over with early, it is just so hard to get out of bed!<br /><br />I'm feeling so good!<br />The only thing that's going to ruin my day?<br />WINE AND CHEESE!<br /><br />I have a wine and cheese class with the boyfriend tonight....ugh. My sis bought it for us for Christmas, so its not like I can skip out on it - she's been asking when we're going and will want to know how it was...plus I looove wine and cheese....maybe that's why I'm so gigantic in the first place! So, I'm going to have 150 cals during work and not eat dinner...the class isn't until 7:30pm, so I'll just tell the boyfriend that I already ate dinner when we go to the class. I don't know the first thing about how many calories will be in this cheese...I'm wondering what's worse? drinking more wine than cheese and getting all drunk and having to come to work tomorrow, or eating too much cheese and gaining like 10 pounds....my bf is totally going to be shoving this stuff in my mouth too. The worst part is that I'll probably be spending the night at the boyfriend's house so I can't jump on the scale in the morning...I've become so addicted to the scale! Anyway, wish me luck! Can anyone think of any excuses for me not to eat some of the cheeses?Natashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15109770834333033433noreply@blogger.com4